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:: Things are a little out of hand ::

Things are really weird lately.  There has been some kind of eerie flux taking place.  
I make sense of life by organizing but this random list is the best I can do right now...

  • I'm taking the day off for personal reasons and I feel guilty.  As in genuine, "I really shouldn't be absent at such a critical absence will leave holes in the success of my company."  This is strange to me.  It implies I care about my work.  This has never happened before.
  • I no longer feel trapped.  But this bothers me.  I feel I've been distracted from the things I want out of life because I'm focused on working.  But I don't feel trapped by working.  This is plain confusing.
  • I've been feeling wildly, ravenously hungry for something.  But I don't know what that something is.  And it's not food.
  • I am grateful and smug at the same time.  These two things are not harmonious together.

What the hell is going on?????? 

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