You know, I spend a lot of time being frustrated by all the things that I didn't manage to get done in my day. I have way too much packed tightly into each and every day. It's funny, but I always thought I knew what doing nothing meant. Until I tried to do it. The prompt was "sit quietly, do nothing... for 15 minutes". I guess I assume to much, because I didn't really realize what that would actually entail doing. Nothing. Has anyone actually tried to do this during their day? It's not even possible for me. As I sat at my desk quietly eating my lunch working through some more difficult things, trying to arrange next weeks schedule my little alarm went off reminding me that I must sit quietly and do nothing for 15 minutes. So, since I was done eating I turned the computer screen off, kicked off my shoes, leaned back into my chair, took a deep breath and
r-e-l-a-x-e-d. That worked for about 45 seconds. The secretary called to tell me I had a phone call. I reminded her that I was at lunch to which she sighed and said "they say it's an emergency". So, okay, I'll take it. It's not. It's just a client who is demanding to be seen early. Nice. And my lunch hour is quickly ticking away.... to be honest, it has been this or something similar each and every time that I try to do this little assignment. I have tried 27 times this week. I am done. It is not going to happen.
I cannot force a stillness that will not come. But, I realize that I have been craving this nothing. My crazy day-to-day schedule very often leaves me completely frazzled and yearning for a lot of nothing. Today is Saturday. I am finally home.
I am of course extremely busy, but I can set aside 15 minutes a day and make a little space for nothing. Right?