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:: Reflecting ::

I feel that as I have grown older, I have also grown stronger, wiser, happier, more sure of myself. However, I was reflecting, on this young woman I see in the mirror, the one who is my mirror of the past. She was always looking to please others, not knowing how to say no, quite weak, and quite unhappy. She is sweet and kind, caring to others, but there were times when I could not stand her. It makes me mad to think that she was that way. Gullible, taken advantage of... easily. Always. As I gaze at her, I think it is sad that she cannot see her worth, because, she is worth so much more! When I see her I think: Was I really that pathetic? Did I really have no self worth for myself? Why didn't I respect who I was? Am I still that way now? Is that why I am upset? I want to be sure I respect myself. That I love myself, and above all that I am caring to myself. I want to enjoy life, I want to be able to not only see the sunshine, but to enjoy it as well. I want to laugh, and laugh with others.

I am not trying to change my mirror, I couldn't change the past no matter how hard I tried anyway, I know she has to go through her own struggle. But, that woman in the mirror now, she wants to make sure that she is strong, happy, respecting  of herself and others always. She never wants to be that scared young woman again. I don't feel like her anymore...

I feel brave.
I feel strong.
I feel like I respect myself.
Is my mirror a bit cloudy, or is she still a mirror of me today?

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